Beatha Coaching

Part Two – coach, therapist, or mentor?

In part one of this blog I explained what coaching is, and is not, and offered some tips for choosing a coach to work with. In this post I am going to compare coaching to the other two prominent helping models that are often offered when workplace anxiety and stress become problematic – counselling and mentoring – so that you can choose the option that is right for you.

Counselling or coaching?

The difference between coaching and therapy is one of the most commonly asked questions, and it is really important to differentiate between the two as they serve different purposes. One of the simplest ways to understand the difference between a coach and a counsellor is to look at the kinds of issues they explore with clients. A coach will almost exclusively focus on present tense issues that a client is experiencing, with an eye to building confidence and resilience, and helping to generate forward motion. Coaching always starts with a discussion about a client’s goals, and even if these change as the coaching progresses and the client unpacks their thinking to a deeper level, the end objectives of the coaching remain a clear touchstone for the whole process.

Counsellors, however, might be engaged by clients to support their exploration of much more deeply rooted and longer lasting issues, often including detailed and potentially very challenging work on past experience and trauma. For this reason a counsellor is trained to a much higher level than a coach to maintain and support a client’s psychological safety, and the process is generally less goal focused and can be quite lengthy.

In terms of work-related stress and anxiety, knowing whether to work with a coach or counsellor can be best summarised as a question of intensity and duration. How long has the emotional distress been going on, and to what extent is it affecting your wider life? If your answer to these questions suggests that you have been struggling for a sustained period with no relief or improvement, or that your work-related discomfort is spilling over to affect your relationships, health, or ability to engage in pleasurable non-work activities, then it may be worth talking to your GP (health care provider) or approaching a counselling service.

If, however, you feel that your stress is increasing, perhaps even worryingly so, but that its impacts are relatively discrete at the moment, or that you are feeling overwhelmed and anxious a lot of the time but still functioning in a fundamentally healthy way, then coaching can be a great intervention. It’s important to remember that coaching and counselling are not interchangeable, but they are very compatible, and early work with a coach to help manage and alleviate stress and anxiety can prevent escalation to the point where a more sustained intervention is needed. Similarly, coaching can work alongside or after a course of therapy to support your ongoing wellbeing and self-management, and limit a relapse into harmful practices and burnout.

What about mentoring?

Unlike coaches and counsellors, mentors are unlikely to have formal training in psychological methods of support. Indeed, the essential premise of mentoring is quite different. Where a coach or counsellor will seek to hold space for a client to think and explore for themselves, and to unconditionally support the process of authentic self-discovery, a mentor is offering a ‘been there done that’ approach. The idea of a mentoring conversation is rooted in a more experienced colleague spending time with someone who is behind them in their field to offer advice and investment. As such, mentoring will tend to focus on performance and skills attainment, and will generally pay close attention to external metrics of success (in academic terms these might be research grant applications, promotion cycles, and the REF).

Mentoring can be a fantastically supportive environment in which to explore better working practices and how to move forward in your career. However, for anyone struggling with overwork, stress, and anxiety, there are some clear pitfalls to the mentoring relationship which should be thought through carefully before committing.

If you are going to approach a mentor about workplace challenges, make sure they are supportive, and that they endorse the kind of values that generate a healthy mental working environment. The least helpful thing you can do when experiencing burnout is to put yourself in a vulnerable position with someone who lacks compassion, or who themselves models unhealthy working behaviours. It is tempting to approach the individual who seems to be ticking all the boxes and managing their career highly successfully. But when working with a mentor, values and personality are much more important than whether they are the highest achieving person you know. It is often better to look for someone who is closer to you in experience level, and who can resonate with the particular challenges you are facing, especially if they are open about having gone through tough times at work themselves.

Mentoring is also an informal relationship. Unlike coaching and counselling, where there are clear contracting procedures, ethical frameworks, and legal guidelines, mentoring is simply two colleagues having a conversation. So make sure you are clear from the outset about what you want from the relationship, what the mentor is able to provide, and the terms under which you will meet. Again, especially if you are experiencing workplace anxiety and burnout, it is vital that you protect yourself from further vulnerability caused by being pushed to talk about subjects you might not want to, or through finding yourself in a relationship with an unequal power dynamic. I would strongly recommend, for example, that you always discuss confidentiality with a potential mentor before starting to meet.

Finally consider whether it might be better to work with someone from outside your department or institution. An external voice, one that isn’t embedded in the particular personalities and power plays of your immediate surroundings, can often be more detached and therefore more supportive than someone who is dealing with the same daily aggravations.

In these two posts I have introduced coaching as a helping approach and delineated it from counselling and mentoring. I’ll be going on to write about responding to common challenges in academia using a coaching approach – what topics would you like me to cover? You can leave a message below, or DM me via Twitter or LinkedIn. Or send me an email: francesca@beathacoaching.org

If you would like to work with me one-to-one to help support your recovery from burnout, or to find ways to manage anxiety, career planning, or writing challenges, get in touch. I am currently offering half-price coaching packages (at time of writing, Oct 2022) and you can find all the details on my website: beathacoaching.org (or follow the links above).